Wedding Toast Do's & Don'ts

Having worked at many weddings, we can honestly tell you that there are some wedding toasts that are absolutely incredible, but some that truly do crash and burn too – just like Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids.

So you’ve been chosen to be the coveted Maid of Honor, congrats!  This title means that you are an amazing person who has shared many beautiful memories with your bride-to-befriend.  It also means you will be required to give a wedding toast during the reception, an exciting experience, but also daunting!  Wondering about how to write your wedding toast?

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Below, read our list of wedding toast do’s and don’ts to help you while planning and writing your toast. We can’t tell you how to write your wedding toast, but we can lead you down the write path and help you to avoid word vomit. Good luck!

Wedding Toast Tip (For Bride and Groom): Try to keep the number of people toasting to a minimum. Don’t have more than 5 people give toasts. Typically, it’s father of the bride, a parent of the groom, Maid of Honor, and Best Man. Even though you want to hear all of the great things people have to say about you, there is nothing worse than never … ending … toasts!  Guests get bored and stop listening.


The Do’s of Wedding Toasts

Do Plan Ahead

Think about it before hand. Write things down. Have structure. You may not think you need to plan out a speech for your BFF, but the reality is that when standing in front of a roomful of people after a few drinks, most people have a tendency to ramble.

Do Make It Short & Sweet

It’s hard for people to focus for long periods of time. We say, 7 minutes TOPS. If you go past that, people stop listening.

Also, focus on the positive in the couple. Don’t try to embarrass your friend beyond playful teasing; don’t try to make her or her fiancé look bad for laughs. Be a good friend and think about what you would want someone to say about you and the one you love at your wedding. And be sincere!

Do Focus on The Couple

Maybe you and the bride have been best friends since childhood and have a million of the funniest/best memories together. But you two aren’t getting married. Touching on your friendship with the bride, even dwelling for a little is fine, but making the whole speech about you two is not. It’s awkward. Save the friendship speech for the bridal shower.

Instead, focus on what a great person she is, and what an amazing couple THEY ARE. Talk about them, and their love, and how you’ve seen their relationship blossom and make them both better people. It’s meaningful and considerate and helps you avoid looking like an attention hog.

Wedding Toast Don’ts

Don’t Be Drunk

Having a drink to help ease your nerves is fine, but no one sounds funny, smart, or poised after 7 drinks. Don’t get drunk before you give your toast. You’ll most likely end up embarrassing yourself, or worse, embarrassing your friend.

You Don’t Have to Be Funny

Speaking from the heart is just as great as a few laughs.

Don’t Forget Your Etiquette

A wedding toast isn’t a time to bring hard life problems to light. Steer clear of talking about personal, uncomfortable issues like money, family problems, religion, politics, etc. Also, stay positive. This is a HAPPY day, so keep it happy.

Christine Ong